Temporary Madness

have you heard of me ?
maybe yes, maybe no
whichever, but for sure
you've seen me
perhaps even a dozen of times

but how come
you never heard of me
when my love for you
spoke loud volumes
of wild music

insanity ?
is love such
a temporary madness ????
if so then ....
insanity will be a sweet thing

do you care ?
perhaps not
for if you do,
you won't let me
suffer from this temporary madness

then for now
i bade you goodbye
to be back again
in my mental asylum
love... a temporary madness

Endless Questions

i am here in my twilight zone
dancing with the shadows in the dark
trying to reach an illusion
playing with the memories
and staring at the night sky

but the dreams
just fade away in the night
it hurts
to see the illusion
shattered into pieces, into distant dreams

when can i get hold of that touch
and see pain turn into ecstasy?
truth hurts
it is eating me up
nothing change

it is still all rationalization
a never ending coping
it never ends, like a cycle
like going in circles
it never stops - the pain

when will the shadows
  stop dancing in the dark ?
when will i see crystal clear water ?
i am so dried up
i need a break
i need to see light in all these things

i think
i can not wait anymore
it has to be now
the story has to end to begin
to begin what ?

it is so shattering
i am all mixed up
i am muddled with all sorts of feelings
till i got to be passive
and be totally numb

i couldn't even cry
i don't even feel
what is this ?
am i in Uranus now ?
trying to find my way in space

i am floating now
but could i ....
wait forever ?
there's a limit
but where is the limit ?

there is a noise
in the room
telling a story
in a form
of a song

down memory lane
with the old songs
what songs will i play ?
a song about life's darkest secrets
there is pain everywhere

can i still take some more ?
i need a shoulder
but all i can see
are skeletons
in the closet

it is fear i know
and instead of pocketing them
i am facing them
in the mirror of reality
and i did not like the reflection i see

LOST

why do you have to go back ?
after i was able
to let you be out of my system
maybe things would have been better
if they stayed the way they were

i don't want to FEEL anymore
i am just reminded of the pain
  of those long agonizing years
i don't want that to happen
i have so much things that i have to do
i don't want to have time and
  concentrate on the pain

i want to cry
but how can i, in a crowd ?
it's all darkness i see tonight
not even a single strand of hope
  in the horizon
it's all bitterness

i just wanna quit
i can't stand your game anymore
going in circles
waiting for what ?
a drifter in the wind ?

lost in the direction
i am taking
could i still wait?
please don't accuse me of impatience
i am not guilty

nothing dance in my mind
but confusion
i can not even recognize my feelings
i am too damned stones
where will i go now
  to seek for the answers ?

Crazy Feeling

i love you
but how about your feelings
do you feel the same
or not ?
when will things get clearer ?
will it stay as obscure as
  it is now ?
are you hating me ?
or the other way around

but no matter what i do
i go back
to the same "old" crazy feeling
i have for you

i want time to fly
so that things will be clearer for me
it's killing me, the endless questioning
i am even losing hope
as if i can't wait no more
but i hope
that there will be
a fulfillment of every wishes
kept in my heart

so many things
i can't even face
but i have to
it's part of my life
trying to smile
despite the difficulties
and frustrations
i encounter

sometimes i wanna cry
but there are
no more tears to fall
why am i becoming like this ?
i guess the pain
made me numb

life is like a lost dream
all because of you
you taught me
to weave dreams
in the air castles
it is only there
that i could find
fulfillment of my love for you

Love Never Gives Up

you are in my memory
whatever you say
you are in the deep recesses
of my mind

corny stuff, right ?
but i just want
to voice out
how i feel deep inside me
this is no strange feeling
i know you are aware
as i am

my life seems so empty
yet full of dreams
( and oh nightmares? )
if you'll only be there
to comfort me
and ease my loneliness

when i love a person
i try to give my all
always wishing the other person
to be happy
even if happiness
means leaving you
alone with yourself

i hope that
even for just sometime
you take time
to think of me

but with you i know
half the battle is won
i hope you are dead serious
or else i don't know
what's going to happen
to me

remember that
love never gives up
whatever happens
i will stay
if trials will come
it is just a test
on how much love endures

i don't know
if you are the "real one"
but i never felt this way
nor can i understand
the sudden changes in me

i never dream
this way
and all because of you
i don't only love you
during a particular part of the day
but every second
minutes and hours of a day

i long to kiss
the smiles on your lips
to touch
the strands of your hair

i've never been this foolish
i guess....

Psychological Torture

when you came into my life
 i was sixteen and so very foolish
 i did not care much about you
 though secretly i had a crush on you

we were young
 and we had our studies to consider
 so i thought it was not yet the time
 for our love to come true

the days turn into months
 and the months into years
 but i never heard any news about you.
 i wrote you a letter but you never answered back

why the sudden change in you ?
 i thought you like me too
 but now the sudden changes
 you seem to be avoiding me

i'm puzzled by your actions
 because of the ambivalence of your behavior
 so many things are left unsaid
 so many questions left unanswered

am i not entitled to fight for a dream ,no matter how shattered?
 i kept this feelings for years
 and i guess i refused to let it go
 so i waited and HOPED

i tried to live in dreams
but i could not
 the sharp pain tears me apart inch by inch 
 blocking out reality, i failed

through the years so many things changed in me
 my life became different
 but there's one thing that didn't change perhaps it never would
 i am still in love with you

i love you so much
 that i thought you couldn't help loving me too
 i could have love you forever
 if you only gave me even half the chance

I am Back

It has been sometime that I last wrote in my blog. Has been busy with work and work. I miss the feeling of sharing my thoughts ,my knowledge to others.

Just finished major employee activities - company outing , company kick off  ...just recently send off a retiring employee who has stayed with the company for 37 yrs.

We miss her ..she's like a mother to all employees since she was the company nurse...

What's my next thing ? Preparing materials for my leadership training for management associates

We recently had an accreditation audit and we pass with one minor non compliance, so we are going to stage 2 audit in a few weeks now...was able to comply with requirements by the auditor.

Personally would like to be involve in activities to payback on all the blessings the Lord has given my way. I am so blessed...my children are all working...still working...my husband has recently been promoted to a position he loves..excited to help him be a powerful manager.

On my part I am enhancing my leadership training modules to empower my people...they are our link to the company's growth and future development.

So excited to make a difference to others lives...




Have a blessed life...