What will I do then.....????

i am getting crazier every day
but i have to go on with my life
how long will the waiting be ?
it's torturing me so much

but why did you let so much chance to slip off your fingers ?
what do you want ?
for me to do the moves
maybe i am not damn yet
but i could still bear to make sacrifices
and i am looking forward
     "that day " to come my way

but why is life like this
the one you love
doesn't even notice you
and the one you're not noticing
loves you

sound  confusing , isn't it ?

how about if you never
    come into my life "
what will i do then ?

Wish

it's the last day of the month

how time flies
that i don't even notice
the changing of the day
and the passing of the night
and yet
i'll always be there
waiting....wanting...

i don't know
how i fell
in love with you
i don't even know
your real name
my knowledge of you
is so vague
all i can do is ... wish

i may never "know you"
because i'm not equip
with psychic forces
to be able to "know you"

it's been months
i really am
missing you ...so much

Sometimes ...

i am having a hard time coping up
i can't talk to you
nor just see you

all i can do
is imagine
going out with you
and sharing some precious moments

sometimes
i feel envious
whenever i see people
together with their special person

sometimes
i feel like
playing around
but i can't take it
that way
so i guess
i just better wait ... for you

if i only
have you
then no need
for weaving dreams
in the air castles

i won't even feel
this goddamn loneliness
perhaps i will be happy then
but i'm not
just because
you are not there

sometimes
i wonder
if you are just ...
a product of my imagination
or a real human person ?



\\

More Than Just A Friend

what cause us to share love's goodness ?
why can't I simply turn you down ?
will there be a place for us someday ?
why can't I make things go without you ?

i was lost and confuse
and your touch gave protection
you eyes gave light and love
and i started to "need" you

am i not worth to be called your "dearest one" ?
what am i to do now ?
start building a "new" world
just to break it into pieces later on

i may be bitter but i am not hating you
i am still in my right senses
and know we're nothing but friends
for ...it had been "that way"eversince

you left me with a touch of pain
 and shattered dreams to cling on
what's instore for  "tomorrow" ?
now i am lost again...

now i know the real score of our friendship
for you , i may just be a friend
and yet for me
you're more than just a friend

i love you ...so soft and so sweet
filled with affection and Earth's goodness
perhaps even paradise and heights of heaven's glory
a very short phrase you took for granted

#Kerygma Conference 2017 # Committed

Just came from the four (4) days Kerygma Conference  held at the SMX Convention Center MOA and a culminating Grand Feast at the MOA Arena .

What fascinates me with this event were the thousands of volunteers who comes in and participates with no financial reward or payments for their service . But you can see the smiles on their faces as if all the energy they have in their spirit . This observations inspires me to serve ...I am still looking in what particular way ... if you see all the opportunities to serve... your mind gets confuse ...you are just a speck of sand in a thousand shores  and you wonder how Lord . When there is so much people who needs help .

The Kerygma phenomenon is one such opportunity ...servants at the door , production guys taking care of sounds , first aid medic teams , and so on and so on...The primary servant leader is Bro Bo Sanchez ...such a simple person but overflowing with abundance . ..inspiring us to love Jesus more .

The four days gives rest also as you listen in  different classes with different speakers with varied backgrounds . As usual, I attended majority the Leadership classes so I can apply on myself the lessons as well as use in my line of work . Listening to new ideas ...old approaches done in a new ways ...gives you new perspective on how to go on with life .

Majority of attendees I realize were millennials and the talks revolve on how to understand and handle them . They are now 70% with the rest as 30% combining the Gen X , Baby Boomers and a small portion of the Traditionalists . Well , I saw it .We were asked to stand representing our generation based on our birth years .

The generation right now are becoming younger , with the coming of the Gen Z , who are now in school . The challenges goes on technology , the way of life , the impatience , the varied opportunity around us , changing mindsets. the world wide net ,,, what else can come ...

Looking forward to 2018 Kerygma Conference. 

Present Over Perfect

It is a book written by Ms Shauna ,  a daughter of a pastor in the States , Bill Hybels ( not very sure by the name ). She seems to have a full life , a book author and motivational speaker , travels around the US for her books and talks . But she decided to write Present Over Perfect , lessen her schedules on her present outside life and focus more on family and the spiritual side of her life .

With her previous lifestyle , she seems to be the picture of a very successful person but deep inside there seems to be something missing in her life ... full of schedules and activities ...but shallow on the inside ...empty and lost .

So she made the decision to be Present Over Perfect ... she got support from her father and her husband ...she realize during an ordinary Saturday she has about 64 things to do , not realizing now that her family members does not really look forward to these 64 activities but looking forward for her presence ...that's all.

Have you ever felt this way ? Everything seems to be busy and needing your time but deep inside you are looking for a certain meaning in your life . Lately I encountered the term "downshifting " , it has a similar concept with Present Over Perfect theory . Finding time for things that really matter ...appreciating things , people , events that matter and can make a difference.

Evaluate how your life works right now , there maybe so many things to do but empty in meaning . First is see your prayer life , do you communicate with the Great One , our Lord Jesus .  Do you have a relationship with Him ?

Meditate , have a inner life , see your real potential . Develop these talents that God gave you and then share your talents with others . It is our way of giving back to God His love for us .

Make a difference as much as you can to those whose lives you affect.

     

Windows of the Soul

There comes a time in our lives that we feel there is something missing . We go about our everyday lives but at the end of the day , we are still looking for something . What it is we remain clueless .

To find this something , I gave up my regular permanent job and find other activities to do .

There is timelessness and serenity to my unhurried mornings nowadays as I take my cup of  coffee , ideas comes into my mind . .. finally finishing my book to share my healing journey , to continue doing training on personal development , among others .

When I do training , I feel so alive and connected to my participants . Knowing who they are , sharing life experiences .

In our hurried life , doing our everyday life - beating work deadlines , taking the kids to school , grocery shopping , paying the bills  - occupies all our time . Keeping us so busy and forgetting to nourish our soul . What sort of life experiences does nourish our soul ?

We can not particularly specify what life experiences nourish our soul . It depends on a lot of things - our personality , lifestyle and values . There is no right or wrong answer to the questions . It maybe being in nature , to some music , others family camping . It varies as our personalities differ as well as what we value .

Some of us get wake up calls through illness or accidents before we make a move towards nourishing our soul. But we don't have to wait for traumatic events to happen . Let us take an inventory of where we focus our energies .

With our busy schedules , we lost our soul in the process . This lost creates that emptiness in our lives.  So how do we recover and nourish our soul ?

You can go back to your childhood interests , this may lead you to your soul interests as when life was still quiet peaceful and spontaneous . We may go back to painting , volunteer works , writing or drawing , where our creative life was joyful . This may open our soul nourishment . As I said earlier , it really varies and depends on our personal interests .

When you find what gives joy to your soul , find time to make room for these activities in your life ,

When we attend only to work and neglect our soul , we feel joyless .

When we have soul satisfying experiences , we are open to what is beautiful around us and appreciate God's creation and many blessings . We are happy and alive in our daily life . It is  not the material things around us that matters but the joy in our hearts .